There are several essential qualities that dads must develop to become the best dads they can be. These qualities include practice and patience, persistence and perspective, passion, and… presence.

Presence.

That’s a great word, but what does it mean exactly? It sounds rather vague.

But it is one of the most essential qualities that a dad needs to develop.

Too many dads simply pass through the lives of their kids, never really engaging with them in any significant way. They aren’t really present. Oh, they may be there, home every night after work with the TV on or the newspaper in hand. But they aren’t engaged in the lives of their kids.

Why is this?

I believe it’s because they don’t know how to be engaged with their kids. Doing so is tough, and it requires effort. And most men struggle with this because their own fathers struggled with it.

My dad was a pretty good dad, but he struggled to be engaged in the lives of his kids. For example, he tried a few times to teach me how to drive a stick shift. He had an old ’64 Chevy pickup, with a three on the tree transmission. I don’t know how many times he wanted to teach me how to drive this, but after about three minutes of killing the engine by letting the clutch out too fast, he would give up in frustration and tell me I’d never learn how to drive a standard.

It was hard to talk to my dad. He seemed uncomfortable if the conversation got too deep and went beyond the normal joking levels.

He didn’t know how to be engaged in my life.

But this is an essential quality that dads must develop in order to be great dads.

Dads must engage their kids fully. They must be present in their lives, in meaningful ways.

Let me list out a few examples of how this can happen:

• Spend time listening to your kids
• Take your kids out, one on one. Let them pick the place you go.
• Watch a special movie with your kids.
• Lay on the floor and let them crawl all over you.
• Daddy/daughter date nights.
• Plan an afternoon excursion with your son, such as a hike, or go geocaching.
• Share your dreams for your kids, and listen to their dreams.
• Plan special family activities.
• Go camping together.
• Sleep on the floor by the Christmas tree as a family.

The point is to create meaningful memories with your kids. Give them something to look back on some day when they have their own families and are wondering how to be a good parent.

Kids who have parents engaged in their lives are more likely to be confident and have an inner strength that many are missing. Being present in the lives of your kids equips them to be able to handle most of life’s circumstances easier.

Being present with your kids shows them just how much you love them, and build depth to your relationship that creates a healthiness that most families lack.

Be present. You will benefit, your kids will benefit. It’s well worth the time and effort.

Question: What do you do to be present in the lives of your kids? You can leave a comment by clicking here.