Have you ever had one of those terrible days where nothing seems to go right? I have. In fact, yesterday was one of those days.  

I have been so stressed out lately. Our house in the Branson, MO, area is still on the market, which translates into two monthly house payments that we have to pay. Fortunately, we were blessed with some financial gifts during our move that has covered one of those payments each month for us. So it didn’t have to come out of our budget; which is good, since I took a pay cut by coming to Mountain View. We are having to re-figure our budget, scrimp more, spend less and generally adjust to a tighter income. At least till we pay off all of our credit card debt (in about three more years!) If we had to pay two mortgage payments out of my weekly paychecks, we would have sunk long ago.  

But those extra funds are running low. We have enough in our savings to cover two more months of those double payments. After that, I have no idea what we will do. Our hope and prayers are centered around God’s provision right now: we are praying that he provides our house to a new owner.  

So my stress level has been high lately. And then yesterday came along…  

The day started off bad and proceeded to get worse right away. In our new house, our master bedroom is so small, I keep my clothes in the extra bedroom downstairs, leaving the dresser and closet upstairs for Heather. But the shower downstairs is waiting for some repairs (after we sell our other house and free up some working money). And so every morning I get up, go downstairs and get my clothes, head back upstairs to take a shower, and then head back downstairs to finish getting ready, so I can head back upstairs to grab a protein shake, my vitamins and meds, and tell Heather and the kids goodbye.  

I got out of bed yesterday and on my way downstairs, my bare foot must have slipped on the carpet, or I didn’t place it on the stair right, or something. Because it slipped off the edge of the step and down I went. I landed hard on my butt at the landing halfway down and I dropped my BlackBerry (the phone is ok… my butt isn’t). I don’t think I injured myself too bad, just bruises… on my butt and on my pride. But as a result, my lower back has ached all day yesterday and so far today. Great. That’s all I need.  

I made it to the office. And didn’t accomplish much of anything. I was distracted by every little thing going on. I couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t think straight.  

And so I tried to read a little. I spent some time in God’s Word and then I picked up Max Lucado’s new book, Fearless. More on that in a minute.  

My evening filled up with some unexpected activities last night so I was unable to run around 7:30, which is my normal time (if I have a “normal” time). I didn’t make it to the track until 9:30 last night.  

I would have been there around 9:00, but my day came crashing back down around my head again; this time in the form of a police officer.  

I drove through downtown Mountain View, on my way to the track. Came to a four-way stop, and turned right. Immediately I see red and blue flashing lights in my rearview mirror. Sigh. He asked me if I knew why he pulled me over (Do they train cops to ask that question at the academy?). Of course, I didn’t. He informed me that I blasted through the four-way stop sign “back there.” Oh, of course…. not. I stopped. I know I stopped. I felt the car lurch to a halt. And then start up again. But not according to this officer.  

He finally let me leave. I went to the track and ran. Managed to keep my time down too. I shaved my time by two minutes a couple of days ago. Last night I maintained my new time. With a sore back and everything. I was probably so ticked off about getting pulled over that my anger released itself through my running.  

So yesterday afternoon, I spent some time reading. Max Lucado’s new book, Fearless, is incredible. He keeps kicking my (already sore) butt! And yesterday was no different.  

Chapter Four is entitled, “Woe, Be Gone: Fear Of Running Out.” It seems like Max was looking over my shoulder yesterday. The entire chapter is about worry. And worry is my prime staple in my life right now, it seems. I worry about selling our house (which I already mentioned). I worry about paying for our houses (which is taking care of itself, at least for a couple more months). I worry about paying off our debt (which is actually on track). I worry about buying groceries (which Heather takes care of…). I worry about my health (which hasn’t changed). I worry about my kids adjusting to a new location (which they seem to be doing just fine).  

Max Lucado lists out eight “worry stoppers” that I can take to heart. Let me quote his closing paragraph of the chapter:  

Seek first the kingdom of wealth, and you’ll worry over every dollar. Seek first the kingdom of health, and you’ll sweat every blemish and bump. Seek first the kingdom of popularity, and you’ll relive every conflict. Seek first the kingdom of safety, and you’ll ump at every crack of the twig. But seek first his kingdom, and you will find it. On that, we can depend and never worry.  

Eight steps. Pray, first. Easy, now. Act on it. Compile a worry list. Evaluate your worry categories. Focus on today. Unleash a worry army. Let God be enough.  

P-E-A-C-E-F-U-L.  

Wow. Thanks Max.  

So I closed the book and grabbed my Bible. Have you ever really read Psalms 42 and 43? Here they are from the NASB.  

Psalm 42:  

1 As the deer pants for the water brooks,
     So my soul pants for You, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;
     When shall I come and appear before God?
3 My tears have been my food day and night,
     While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
4 These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me
     For I used to go along with the throng and lead them
       in procession to the house of God,
     With the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude
       keeping festival.
5 Why are you in despair, O my soul?
     And why have you become disturbed within me?
     Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
     For the help of His presence.
6 O my God, my soul is in despair within me;
     Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan
     And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
     All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.
8 The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;
     And His song will be with me in the night,
     A prayer to the God of my life.
9 I will say to God my rock, “Why have You forgotten me?
     Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
10 As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me,
     While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
11 Why are you in despair, O my soul?
     And why have you become disturbed within me?
     Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
     The help of my countenance and my God.  

Psalm 43:  

1 Vindicate me, O God, and plead my case against an
       ungodly nation;
     O deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man!
2 For You are the God of my strength; why have You rejected me?
     Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
3 O send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me;
     Let them bring me to Your holy hill
     And to Your dwelling places.
4 Then I will go to the altar of God,
     To God my exceeding joy;
     And upon the lyre I shall praise You, O God, my God.
5 Why are you in despair, O my soul?
     And why are you disturbed within me?
     Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him,
     The help of my countenance and my God.  

I think the two of these Psalms go together. I don’t know why they have been separated. But Psalm 43 seems to be an epilogue, a continuation of Psalm 42. 

Look at the progression here. In the first five verses of 42, the psalmist speaks of the drought in his life. “My soul thirsts for God.” “My tears have been my food all day and night.” 

And then in verses six through eleven, he speaks of his drowning. “My soul is in despair within me.” “Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.” “I will say to my Rock, ‘Why have you forgotten me?’”  

This guy’s life is in shambles; his situation was intense. And in verse seven, he seems to almost blame God and hold Him responsible for the oceans of trial in which he seems to be drowning.  

I can relate. I’m drowning too. I’m not sure I’ve reached the point where I blame God; but I have been asking “Why?” pretty intensely. I seem to be drowning and dying, and I can’t seem to see a way out of it.  

But then I read Psalm 43. This psalm moves away from introspection, focusing on me and my plight, to invocation, focusing on God and his might.  

Verse five tells us that the psalmist’s problems hadn’t gone away, not fully, or even finally. But his perspective had changed. His thought process has changed from “me” to “thee.” His whole attitude has changed, and the first four verses are a prayer to God, speaking of his guidance and protection. And verse five is a pep talk to himself; encouraging himself to continue to trust God, and almost chiding himself for his unbelief.  

Reading these two chapters so soon after reading Max Lucado’s chapter was like a one, two punch to the spiritual jaw. I know God is in control. I know God has a plan, and I can’t always see it fully. But this reinforced His sovereignty in my mind. This mixture of the psalmist and Max Lucado refreshed, in my mind, the need to seek first God and His kingdom and His righteousness.  

When my focus is on me, I’m stealing my own peace. I can’t do life on my own. I simply can’t. And I stress and worry about how I will get this done, or that accomplished. But when my focus is where it should be, I can relax, knowing that God is in control of the situation. He may not be on the same timetable as I am; which means I need to change. He may not resolve it in the manner I would like; which means my ideas aren’t the best way. He is in control. That bears repeating: He is in control.  

When my focus is where it needs to be, on God, my worries about the issues and circumstances of my life don’t seem as threatening. I can find peace. And I can focus on more important things.  

Maybe yesterday wasn’t such a bad day after all…