As a minister, I have the opportunity to perform a wedding every now and then. As a youth minister, I don’t get to do this as often as our lead minister does, but I still get a request every now and then.

I was just asked a few days ago, in fact. I have the opportunity to perform the wedding for one of the college girls involved with our Junior High ministry. That is an incredible and exciting privilege for me.

While the actual wedding isn’t scheduled until June of next year, this topic is now on my mind. A lot. I have planning to do, pre-marital counseling to prepare for, and a lot of details I have to get into place. Granted, I have plenty of time. But it’s frequently on my mind.

As I dug through my shelves, looking for marriage resources, I came across several that I seem to turn to every time I do a wedding. Or talk with people about marriage. Or lead a small group study on marriage.

I thought I’d list them here.

Here are my top seven go to books on the topic of marriage.

His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
This may be my favorite book on marriages. Heather and I went through this book during our pre-marital counseling, almost twenty years ago. And I find it continuing to be relevant; increasingly so. In this book, Harley has identified the top five needs of both men and women. He then explains how to see these needs in your spouse, and how to meet them. Discovering how to identify and meet your spouses deepest needs will go a long way in protecting your marriage from destruction. (View His Needs, Her Needs on Amazon.com.)

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
Thomas has a unique perspective on the issue of marriage. In Sacred Marriage, he focuses more on our need to be holy than our desire to be happy. Based on his incredible book, Sacred Pathways, this book shows how your marriage is a key part of deepening your relationship with God. While not a book I’ll use in preparing for a wedding, it is a book I recommend in preparing for a marriage. (View Sacred Marriage on Amazon.com.)

The Four Seasons Of Marriage by Gary Chapman
Just as every year has four seasons, so does every marriage. And each season is unique. Chapman has identified several key characteristics of each season. He has gathered several strategies that will help strengthen your marriage and move you towards a better season, if necessary. Showing just how marriages cycle through these seasons, and what you can do to grow through those cycles, The Four Seasons Of Marriage is a great resource to keep on your shelf. (View The Four Seasons Of Marriage on Amazon.com.)

Give And Take by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
Willard Harley makes the list for a second time with Give And Take. I originally purchased this book simply because His Needs, Her Needs was so good. But this book has earned a space on my shelf in its own right. Following the lead of His Needs, Her Needs, this book explains just how to give your spouse what they need most, while taking what you need most as well. It’s all about compatibility in marriage, and how to restore and strengthen it. (View Give And Take on Amazon.com.)

Hidden Keys Of A Loving, Lasting Marriage by Gary Smalley
Good marriages don’t just happen. They take work. Lots of work. Smalley has identified several principles of strong marriages. He examines common marital problems and suggests strategies that can transform these problems into teamwork that will strengthen your marriage. While originally written as two separate books, this book combines both to show both a husband’s role and a wife’s part in building stronger marriages. (View Hidden Keys Of A Loving, Lasting Marriage on Amazon.com.)

The Most Important Year In A Woman’s/Man’s Life by Mark and Susan DeVries, and Robert and Bobbie Wolgemuth
Really two books in one, The Most Important Year is unique in that it focuses on the critical first twelve months of a marriage. One side of the book is geared towards men; flip the book over and the other side is directed at women. The chapter topics are the same for both men and women, but are written specifically for the gender they address. Covering such things as teamwork, communication, budgets, tough times, and more, this book is a great gift to give to newly married couples. (View The Most Important Year In A Woman’s/Man’s Life on Amazon.com.)

Communication: Key To Your Marriage by H. Norman Wright
Often your spouse says one thing but you hear something entirely different! Communication is one of the toughest aspect of a marriage to learn. But it is also one of the most important aspects of a marriage. Wright examines the differences in the ways that men and women communicate; and then he shows you how to actually put strategies into practice that will increase your communication skills. This is another must have book for anyone wanting to strengthen marriages. (View Communication: Key To Your Marriage on Amazon.com.)

These are the books that I go to on marriages, whether that is for my own marriage or for helping others with theirs. There are a lot of other resources out there. I know there are. I have over forty different resources on marriage in my personal library alone. These are just the best ones.

What books or other resources would you add to this list? What do you consider essential material for building strong marriages? You can share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Disclosure of Material Connection:
Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links”. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.“