After Paul finished the fourth chapter of his letter to Timothy, he moves from doctrinal and leadership issues to more relational matters. In this chapter he’ll encourage Timothy in the areas of relationships by age, widows, elders, and finally, slaves.

He begins by stating some simple rules for relating with various people. You can see these rules in 1 Timothy 5:1-2:

Paul identifies the church as a family. This is an image that is presented more than once in the Bible, and Paul uses it here to give some instructions to Timothy on how to relate to various aspects of that family.

Older men

Respect for the elderly, especially men, was a very important part of Middle Eastern culture, and still is in many parts of the world. Paul’s instruction to Timothy is to treat such men with the respect due to them. What he is not saying is that Timothy shouldn’t correct an older man when he is in error. Rather, he should do so in a manner that conveys respect and courtesy.

Younger men

While the NIV uses the word “treat” here, the idea is a repetition of Paul’s instruction to exhort. Many ancient cultures expected treatment of people of similar age as siblings. Timothy is to exhort younger men as brothers. It bears mentioning here that the word “exhort” means to strongly encourage.

Older women

Again, respect for those older is a critical element of Timothy’s ability to build strong relationships. This same principle holds true today as well; treating older men and women with the same level of respect that we would give to our own parents goes a long way to forming excellent relationships.

Younger women

When Paul lists this final segment of the church body, he adds the phrase “with absolute purity.” Some have applied this to the entire list of four groups of people. While it is perfectly applicable to each of these, it’s most likely used by Paul to refer specifically to the final group of younger women. Paul wants Timothy to remain pure in his relationships, and to be seen as above reproach by others in those relationships as well.

Looking at this list, it’s easy to see the different sections of the church that Paul identifies and miss his point entirely. Paul’s intent here is not to break the church into four groups. What he is referring to is Timothy’s role of providing pastoral care to those in his congregation. With that in mind, let’s take another look at these two verses.

Pastoral care must not be harsh or disrespectful

There will come times when people must be corrected. Paul’s instructions give us details on how to handle those times. Roughshod, disrespectful treatment of others is no way to treat anyone. Correction must remain free of bitterness and vindictiveness, showing respect for all, especially those who are older.

Pastoral care should be comforting and encouraging

Properly caring for those who need correction or admonition helps the offenders to be more inclined to heed the instruction than a sharp rebuke will.

Pastoral care should be considerate, such as a family relationship

Each member of the church is a child of the Father, and is a brother or sister in Christ. But Paul encourages Timothy even further to treat them as members of his own family. After all, we should treat the best those we spend the most time with.

Pastoral care should be performed in purity

This is especially true when younger women are involved, and is critically important today when even the slightest hint of inappropriateness can lead to gossip, slander, or worse. While this phrase is linked primarily to the last group, the younger women, and likely refers to sexual impropriety, the principle remains true for each of the four groups. Each of our relationships with another person requires us to be acutely aware of how we relate to them and how we treat them.

For the most part, the remainder of Paul’s letter to Timothy is written to assist him in dealing with various groups within the church in Ephesus. A lot of this instruction is dedicated to widows, and all of it gives us practical advice on how to build and maintain relationships within the church today.

Which of the four groups of people do you relate to the best? Which of the four aspects of caring for others do you find most difficult? Why? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.